Great Moments for Gays in Modern History

(A personal favorite from Aug. 28, 2007)

Looks like another overly repressed conservative is being exposed for homosexual behavior. Republican senator Larry Craig of Idaho was caught soliciting sex in a Minnesota airport restroom after complaints from other restroom goers about lewd goings-on there.

After Emma posted an article about this last night off of Roll Call, I laughed hysterically, and then sobered up for a little while. Though it didn't state in this article that he was one of the array of Republicans who regularly attempt to squash any rights of homosexuals, I was sure that was the case, and wrote Emma back a ranting e-mail about jackasses such as these. Sure enough, I read in an article this morning that he "has voted against gay marriage and opposes extending special protections to gay and lesbian crime victims," in what is seemingly becoming a legislation policy simply to indicate the voter's closeted homosexuality. I'd say it's becoming more and more obvious that those among us who doth protest too much are exactly those who can't handle the temptation of unrestrained, unrepressed, unopposed homosexuality. If there are any homo-noids in the audience who disagree, let them be heard.

I saw the movie "Jesus Camp" last year, and one of the last scenes in it took place in Ted Haggard's giant McCongregation, before his private life was exposed. There are probably few people out there who don't know who he is. This evangelical preacher's prostitute male lover finally grew tired of the venom Haggard was spewing about gays to huge audiences, and exposed him for the meth-head man lover he is.

How can anyone deny that the church and conservative politics walk hand in hand down the dirt path of extreme repression? I have a difficult time having any respect whatsoever for "men of the cloth" or conservative Republicans when their very existence seems to cry out in opposition to the moral laws they espouse and attempt to enforce with the promise of some form of ridiculous eternal damnation. Is it not evidence enough for you people that if your own leaders don't believe or care that they're going to hell for their sins of the flesh, that they probably don't really believe in hell itself? Is it not evidence enough that thousands of priests became priests not to spread the word of god, but rather to better have access to defenseless young children? If this were not true, what is with the huge percentage of child-molesting priests? And what is going on with conservative politicians that they keep getting caught gay?

Why do you think they prefer to keep women from becoming priests? It may have something to do with the fact that a far smaller percentage of women like to molest young boys (let's assume the stereotype is mostly correct). Thus, they may have a more difficult time understanding that mass collusion in a fucked-up institution has more to do with sex and guilt from repression than it does some man in the sky--though there may be more than a few who may want to play their part (in more ways than one) in the game as well.

These men are not guilty in their sexual inclinations because they think some god gives a damn about something so silly as what appendage they put where and how, they are guilty and repressed because their parents, and their parents before them, and the society around them, made them believe that homosexuality leads to the downfall of civilization. This is not so farfetched an idea, I suppose, simply because if all men decide they want to have sex with primarily men, we'll have a difficult time perpetuating the human race. It is, however, overly antiquated and far more instinctual than intellectual. I think most of us would be pretty excited if nine-tenths of the world decided to stop procreating, especially those fricking people in that developing country that wants to use our oil.

The devout scare me, and the religious not-so-devout (i.e. hypocritical) scare me even more, and the conservative politicians make me fear for my well-being and the lives of my homosexual friends.

Parents, raise your children to feel guilty for having a sex drive and expect results. They will damage other innocent people, and you will have no one but yourself to blame. Guilt and fear spawn the great portion of all ills in this world.